Do you miss the good old days when as a youngster you were surrounded by several uncles, aunts and cousins? Children who live in a joint family lead a sheltered life surrounded by their loved ones. They learn the importance of sharing, being patient, and simultaneously, their lives get enriched while living in a joint family. Sharing work, finances, space, love and affection is what comes to my mind when one thinks of a joint family. In many Indian homes, people still prefer joint families to nuclear families. There are reasons a plenty for this preference but the common reason is stability in family ties.
Rinki, a homemaker in a joint family, feels that bringing up a child is a mammoth task for a parent in a nuclear setup. Creating a secure atmosphere for the child is a concern that leads to a great deal of stress. Security is one aspect that’s beautifully looked after in a joint family. A family plays an important role in framing the personality of a child. It is probably the most effective social support unit providing a secure and safe atmosphere for the child. Our values and attitudes are shaped by our families and these are the values that leave a lasting impression on our children.
Although raising a child in a joint family setup has multiple benefits, there are drawbacks as well. Too many cooks …. Here are some tips on raising a child in a joint family: * While your child has the opportunity to learn social and interpersonal skills in the company of your extended family, make it a point to spend some time solely with your child on a regularly basis. * Ophthalmologist Dr Poonam stays in a joint family and is of the opinion that a child, when exposed to too many take-charge adults, gets thoroughly confused and becomes insecure.
In such a situation you need to give time, a patient hearing and reinforce confidence, thus reducing anxiety and confusion in your child. * Among many cousins and siblings your child may yearn for self-identity and status in the family. Never compare or belittle your child’s efforts before others as this will lead to low self-esteem. * Shakti, a homemaker in a joint family, stresses the importance of taking time off from family commitments and making an effort to have an open and honest communication with your child.
Encouraging your child and working out ways to boost his skills and talents can help him develop a positive attitude. Joint families provide a sense of fulfillment but you need to balance time between your family and your extended family. A mixture of love, social and interpersonal skills, sharing and responsibility from the joint family system, added to your own seasoning of discipline, encouragement, self-esteem building, and positive interaction will create strong bonds between your child and your family. Would you like your child to grow up in a joint family or a nuclear family?
Today there is a huge decline in Concept of Joint Families in India. People stay in nuclear families due to many reasons like Job constraints Financial problem Less privacy Misunderstanding& tension in the family. Working parents are alwaysworried for their child as he/she is in safe hand. It’s true no matter who is there but a child needs his/her mother at any given time, but at least we can be assured that he is getting best to us. For a new mom,at times, to understand everything about her child is bit difficult , like how to bathe your child, how to feed her, why baby is crying even if she is fully fed etc.
For these elders play a vital role, they guide us through this new phase of life. Apart from handling these big-n-small problems the most important benefit of having them is the way they inculcate the values within a child, as they have the experience of bringing up a child. We cannot rule out the point that they must falter somewhere, may be they are ignorant about the modern way of thinking but then people learn from their mistakes. Don’t we do that! don’t we make mistake and ensure this is not repeated the next time. This applies to them as well.
And as far modern ideologies are concern, for that we are there. The way our elders teach the our child everything related to relationship, society, religion is the best and no institute in the world can provide the same. We, Indian, value relationship, which is our cultural heritage which is seen only in India. This we can see and learn only after being a part of a Joint family. This system inculcates a strong bonding, not only with parents but also with other members of the family . A child learns how to share, how to respect elders and understands the value of relationships.
He learns to interact with so many people around and in today’s world its very important to be good social animal, which requires high interaction level. Depression in kids due to loneliness has become a very common news, one of the reason is they don’t have friends; atleast being together in a family can avoid such problems and can ensure a child gets the best and is inculcated with best of values. Research has shown children in closely knitted family are happier and jollier ones. Joint Family is not all rosy-rosy and it does have its share of thorns.
In a joint family, often there is comparisons between all the kids but then even in a nuclear family we compare siblings or we compare other kids with ours. These things can be handled well and being a Parent we have all right to stand and take decision which suits best for our child. After all whatever we are doing is for the best of our child. We should always be open to discuss the matter with the elders and explain them if they are wrong. This system is wonderful, if the people around you are great ones, they are understanding and always ready to share your responsibility.
Not only is our child getting the best care even we Moms can have our share of funs too. We can go to shopping, parlor, and coffee with friends without been bothered what to do with our child or end up carrying them everywhere we go. In another way it eases our life also. There are many advantages of joint families. you get complete support of family members when ever needed, your children will not left out alone at home when you go for a job, you can share your joys and sorrows with them. the only drawback of joint family is that you don’t get that much freedom and privacy as you can get in nuclear family.
Many robberies in day time take place because nobody presents in home, so if there would be a joint family, robbery cases will also decrease. Another benefit, we don’t have to ask for help from others if all family members are living together. Each and every person will share their opinions and take a good decision. you cant hide anything as u r in joint family .. what ever u want to keep secret…. everyone can find that.. so no privacy. May u think your opinion is first one.. but if majority doesn’t want your opinion then it will be thrown away so no independent decision making…. hen one do mistake …. u also will be charged for that mistake as u r in joint family.. it affects to all the members. Joint family gives advantage than problems. There may be problems as they are the part of our life as we face in day to day life but that cannot be made as a reason to blame and escape to nuclear life after enjoying all benefits. One may enjoy a joint family if there is a good thinking among the members of the family. if not it becomes very hard to sustain the joint family as there will be discrimination arising.
So basic pillar of joint family is to have healthy and selfless moral values for all members. Also it must be controlled by an unquestionable head to take the decisions for improving the living. In a joint family-one always gets guidance from elderly. They are more experienced. They can take care of grandchildren in a proper way rather than depending on a maid There will always be a generation gap ; younsters will not always agree with what old people say. So there can be discrepancies sometime. Opinions may vary ; this can cause “hot environment ” in joint families.